Day 56

Routine.

Love without touch has become ::boring::

I understand that the reason for this void is because we have yet to fill our 'gap' with God.

In the last post I discussed how the fullness of God has attracted us away from sin- 

yet I have not been chasing this fullness- nor has he.

No worries.

We will kick this lull. 

Serving God is loving God. And loving God is anything BUT boring.

Finding the Fullness

In lieu of our 1.5 month success- who knew!- I thought I would write some more about what I feel has made this transition so easyyy!!
First and foremost God's grace and provision.
Second, if it is of God's will(which by the way purity is of His will-check out like ALL of the Paul's letters) he will give you that grace and provision, with little demand from you because He wants to see you succeed. We have to remember that God is on our side, even when we don't feel like anything is going our way.
Third, having an initmate with our creator really can be/will be enough.

I remember when Jesus became my Lord. It was April 2007. At the time I had a different boyfriend. Neither him or I appreciated my value in this world and our relationship was based on selfish and worldly ways. Although not a long relationship, nor that serious, I had received a diamond ring from him. I longed for this ring; I begged for this ring; I worshiped this ring.  As God began to capture my heart, I went to a conference and I was singing “Your Grace is enough, your Grace is enough for me….” and I froze. I looked up at my raised hands and I began to feel sick to my stomach. The ring no longer represented love and security but greed and sin. Right then I had learned the difference between being in the world and of it. I ended things with that boyfriend quickly after and began to met face-to-face with God daily. That is when things really started to pick up. Once I turned my eyes towards him- no other love was sufficient. Did I still try to self-medicate with worldly love? Sure... but I had a taste of the living water Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman about at the well ((John 7)).

Ughh.. if only I could express how amazing His love is. I have tried before in my own personal blog but nothing can capture His expressions and outpourings that only you can expereince for yourself. Alas, I will continue on.

It is for that innocence of intimacy with my creator I no longer hit the sheets with my boyfriend.
It is for those uncomparable peaceful moments spent with my Savoir, I deicide to head home early from his apartment.
It is for those wild adventures the Lord sends me on with Him as the treasure being found, that keep me from compromising my pleasure seeking.

It is not about abstaining from something.

Its about finding the fullness in Him and then a rightful husband. 

Some churches actually preach that... some just preach 'NO'... but a lot of them now are focusing on keeping our "gift" for the right man and using it for the right reason... which is true but, --but, there is an intimacy with God that can fulfill our desire until then. Of course, it's not physical but you won't even concern yourself with that once you find this. ((I mean unless you put yourself into stupid situations that are going to be beyond tempting- no examples need to be given))

*sigh- this is one of those topics anyone at the pulpit can preach until they are blue in the face, just like they did to me. BUT it is true and at least by planting seeds once you do believe me, you'll have confirmation of it. Until then, be blessed & I will keep you updated on our success, triumph of the world and dependence on the Lord.

The Good Fight

To fight the good fight, is not much of a fight at all.

To do the works of God, is simply to believe.

And to conquer the world all we need to do is surrender.

It's not what it looks like

This battle is not ours. All we have to do is make a choice. God wants us to succeed. He is giving a path of success in this moral-lacking world. Turn your eyes towards Him, He'll show you. Don't focus on the struggles or the blessings. Focus on Him, it will work out. Just like it is for us <3

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. ⁴The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. ⁵We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

This is world is never what it seems. We are not fighting nor loving the way the world does. We receive our strength from Him and thank Him that his ways, thoughts, & love is higher than ours. =)

Isaiah 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. 

Isaiah 41:10   So do not fear, for I am with you;  do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

That my friend- is good news. We are all victors, we just don't all know it yet.

Two Weeks

Since returning I have been speaking a lot about making choices.
We have the choice to run after God or man.
We have the choice to follow His word or create our own path.
We have choices and we have compromises.

Ryan & I have successfully chosen to run after the things of God and He has blessed us immensely. Although I could go into detail of what this looks like, I am not going to. I am just going to say- you have to see this for yourself. Sure, my insecurities have surfaced-- but it has not been painful. Within my partnership with God, I have a partner in Ryan and that makes all the difference.

Make the choice, God will take it from there.
Be accountable, circumstances will not be difficult.
Trust in His word, it will always come true.

"But let all who take refuge in you be glad;

let them ever sing for joy.

Spread your protection over them,

that those who love your name may rejoice in you

For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous;

you surround them with your favor as with a shield" 

-Psalm 5:11-12

Day One

So it is the end of the first day of seeing Ryan.
We stuck to it. No kissing and honestly... it was not that hard.
I made sure to confess to my Savior today before I saw Ryan how I could not do this without Him and He had to guide my steps today.
It was really helpful that Ryan was very careful in when we hugged where his heads was.
Actually, he was just very helpful in it all.
The only thing that I can see ::really:: being a problem is once we remove the behaviors we need to immediately fill the void with the Holy Spirit. I can already sense my love tank being off-kilter. I know what you're thinking... didn't Ryan just fly half way around the states to see you? Yes, yes He did. But that is what happens when you're affirmation of love is in the wrong things, your thinking patterns don't really make sense.
So, in conclusion, I think we got this covered. yes things will get harder after day one but if we stick to it, be accountable and make the right decisions, God will do the rest. "Do what is possible, and God will do the impossible"

Matthew 5:8
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

Kicking out the crutches

For so long our love as been based on physical gratification and words of adoration. Of course there has been real substance to our relationhisp including freindship, quality time and encouagrment, otherwise we would not have made it this long.
But I hear the Lord say, what if that real stuff was all of it. Imagine the love, the freedom the real-ness you could expereince.Tonight I am going to tell Ryan that I believe just as we plan on not kissing for three months that we should not say 'I Love You'. As his #1 love language is physical touch & that will be taking backseat, why not make this an even effort.... words of affirmation. Why is it I NEED to hear him say he loves me? Can I live without it? Well, I guess we will found out.
And with most thigs in my life I believe the way of the Lord will turn out to be much sweeter than any substitute I have been filling it with.

Coming soon: My thoughts on proverbs5-7. Wisdom on sexual immorality.